An Abandon Note

*note : I found this note last night and decide to post it here. Made a few months ago while new president just chosen  and I feel sentimental when wrote this note. But then my feeling is different. Note for myself and reminder , that happened.

 road

I deeply worry, for what happened in the last few days in Indonesia. I am sad, but I can not do anything for now. But this what I thought.

There was a time in my life, I dedicated my day for running the organization. Took a part in college activity mean spent your day in a student club. Since my club is partly profitable, it should run like a company, not real company, a small company. When it comes a profitable matter, we need to chose a very qualified team leader and a solid team to made sure the whole club run well.

When the leader election came, it would be a memorable moment. The best person in our club will compete in presenting their vision. One moment, there are last two candidates to choose. This head to head competition had several deadlock , since we chose to make decision by voting. Then the election committee chose to push people spoke out their reason why they vote a candidate. Actually, it crossed the person right in keeping secret their reason to choose. But the deadlock can be continued and decision had to make sooner. This condition tore apart the member. They easily talked the strenght and weakness of each candidates , openly. I , even disagree with this, couldn’t do anything .

When the leader choosen, it was disatisfied decision. Because everyone knew other prefered candidate, the silenty grudge grew from the losing part.

When the main team formed, they chose (at least) from best of the best in their field, it means, they could someone who chose another candidate. There was a doubt , if the new leader can perform as they wish, but since they chose profesionally, it made them to work as best as they can.

As people think, this team cannot work in full power. The members who chose the lose candidate were still disatisfied. Even they looked agree to the program , they (silently) disagreed and kept ignore to participate. It looked like, people want to make sure the team failed and prove the chosen leader is a worst choose.

Tragically, it happened. Even the leader and the team already worked hard, push hard their time and ablity, they cannot win the heart of disatisfied people. They dragged to a misfortune.

It exhausted, when people distrust you, When you worked hard and people refused to eagerly participate, when you tried to make new program and people ignored it. And at last they rejected your work after a year.

I was there, stood among the doubtness, worked hard to prove against the wish of failed, even I wasn’t the best, I did my best. And when people wishes were our failure, we already there to made our best to stand our ability. It was a year of exhausted, and no regret. But after that, it was a moment of losing my confident and running away.

It was a past, but I saw similar things happened in Indonesian politic nowaday. The dissatisfied group of the chosen president make their way to against next government future. Or at least they make their way to feed themselves in power or plan to failed every new government moves. They formed power in parliamentery and legislative and to be the contender . The distrust spread even when the new president not yet to be appointed. It wont be easy work to new government.

I thought the harsh moment will stopped in the day of the election day, The moment when you debated to your dearly friends and family to prove which one the best candidate. It didn’t stop actually,and won’t stop. The doubtness is grew quickly among the rumour. And the question, if you doubt it first, how could you be participate to make this country better? Or are you now just sit there, reading a bunch of bad/false news, and believe it then spread it, and waiting for a big failed and laugh out loud to other fault by choosing this government?

I only wish the best then, for our country future.

But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart
– Antoine De Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince-

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