32/366 : Rejection

A : He tried six times before he got the scholarship..
B : I tried 25. Only 4 close to the interview. I think I lost all my confidence now.
C : I tried 40 times, I got them after the 41. Keep trying, not counting the rejection. It helped you better in writing and answering though.

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Am I ready? Better keep trying, rite?!
picture by my Favorite Illustrator : Grant Snider in Incidental Comic

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29/366 : I … Love You

Since 6 months ago, I and mr.A started (again) to ask B if he wants to sleep by himself in his room. He was 5 that time and he has his own room. He did it (before) for 3 weeks but it stopped suddenly due to our trip back to Indonesia. Since then he chose one of us to go to sleep with him all night long.

Actually I love co-sleeping with him. I and mr.A love when we both had a pillow talk a few minutes before he calmly fallen sleep. I love the smell of his baby scent and kiss him thousands time before he slept. Eventhough this  is not wise for B, I enjoyed it much.

Now he was 6 and we think it is time to convince him trying his best. I will try harder to persuade him to get in bed and sleep soundly without us beside him. I will try harder to make him believe that nothing gonna happen in his sleep because Allah always protect him and we always here with him. But maybe I’m just a mom who love his boy and his every little things.

This note is shared in facebook. I don’t know whether her account is for public or not, but I think this one is worth to share.

“Ibu-ibu Memang Payah!”

Ibu2 memang payah, waktu kamu seharusnya belajar untuk berani dan bersosialisasi di taman kanak-kanak, kami malah mengintip dari kaca jendela…

Khawatir pada si kecil yang ‘kok udah sekolah aja sih?’ (padahal sebelumnya kami memimpikan kebebasan sesaat ini, yaitu saat kalian lepas dari kami dan berada di luar rumah selama 3 jam😄)

Ibu2 memang payah, waktu kamu akhirnya bisa ‘mengusir’ kami dan dengan bahagia melepaskan diri untuk bermain bersama guru dan teman2mu di taman kanak-kanak, kami malah tercenung. Berharap agar kalian mau menggelayut manja pada kami untuk sesaat lagi saja. Entah itu minta dipeluk atau dicium yang keseribu kali sebelum mau bergabung dengan teman-teman kalian, seperti yang biasa dilakukan saat awal sekolah dulu…

Ibu2 memang payah… ketika kalian lupa membuat tugas sekolah dan baru ingat pagi harinya ketika harus dikumpulkan, kami langsung turun tangan turut membantu mengerjakan. Meski mulut tak henti mengomel, tapi sungguh hati tak tenang, takut si kesayangan mendapat hukuman dari guru di sekolah…

Ibu2 memang payah, saat kalian merengek karena ketakutan di awal masa harus tidur sendiri, kami sok kuat, sok tegar, sok tegas… padahal malamnya kami mengendap2 untuk menatap wajah tenangmu ketika tidur, dan berharap masih bisa menyesap bau harum badan kalian sebelum tidur, seperti dulu ketika kalian masih berbagi tempat tidur dengan kami…

Ah… kami memang payah… bahkan ketika kami sudah besar pun, ibu kami juga masih menganggap kami anak2, menyiapkan masakan yang lezat2 ketika kami datang berkunjung, membiarkan kami bermanja seperti ketika kami kecil dulu… itulah, itulah juga yang kami lakukan pada kalian…

Sometimes our love cloud our judgement, but you’ve spent too much time in our belly, and even more time in our heart…

Jadi maafkan kami jika kami ‘payah’ dalam menyayangi kalian 😘😘😘

#ForMyPreciousss

taken from her facebook account

ps. I think I have a sad feeling because in a few days B will be bcak to school, and I will miss him that much. I love you kiddo!!

25/366 : Rest in Peace Muhammad Ali

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No, I have One bodyguard.

He has no eyes though He sees. He has no ears though He hears. He remembers everything with the aid of mind and memory. When He wishes to create a thing, He just orders it to be and it comes into existence, but this order does not convey the words which takes the tongue to form like our sound carries ears. He hears the secrets of those on the quite thoughts. He stops those whom, whose that?

That’s God Allah. He’s my bodyguard. He’s your bodyguard. He’s the Supreme, The Wise.

Muhammad Ali, in question if he has bodyguard

May Allāh (ﷻ) forgive your shortcomings MuhammadAli‬ & may Allāh (ﷻ) give you a big big Jannah. Amīn.

15/366 : Breathe

After all, I need to take deep breath. To calm down my hurt feeling, my anger. Breathe.

Take a deep breath
So that either side of your heart becomes numb
Exhale one more time

Until you feel the slightest of pain
It’s alright if you feel so full of air
That you feel
Nothing’s left inside you any more
No one’s blaming you
It’s alright to make mistake sometimes
It happens to the best of us

The words, “it’s okay”
They may be nothing but words
But isn’t there a way that I can
Do something about

Somebody sigh
The deep breath of sorrow
I can’t understand your innermost thoughts
But it’s okay
I’ll take you into my embrace

To others, your sigh may seem like one of tiredness
but I know
That you spent an entire day
So difficult that the smallest breath is hard to breathe.
Don’t think of that any longer
Take a deep breath

But isn’t there a way that I can
Do something about
Somebody’s sigh
That deep breath sorrow I can’t understand your innermost thoughts
But it’s okay
I’ll take you into my embrace
You’ve done so well

Breathe | Lee Hi –
Trans ikonOT7 via ladymichi90
MV is here

ps. Thank you to Lee Hi for comforting me with this beautiful song and lyric by Kim Jonghyun