This is our perfect size

 

“Will you have another kid?”

“Are you gonna give B sibling?”

“Do you plan for the second?”

“Don’t be selfish parent? With only one it will easy rite?”

“Do you think B will be okay if he is alone later on? Now he has you, but later, he will be alone by himself? Are you okay with that?”

I thought I will be very well prepared when these questions come up. I usually tamed easily the question and changed into a joke, or I will answer the question wisely. Later option is only happen if I have more energy to put my words well.

But, I still find the question about do we want or need to add our family member is bothersome and come to dread. Especially when it came from the family member and friends.

Not only us, to find these kind of questions are sometime thoughtless. In the article , The question we came to dread: ‘Are you going for a second child?’ , the writer  gave the an easy explanation to make people understand why  question about having another kid or adding family member are enough for some family.

It should be very personal reason, so finding an answer never been easy. But I gladly  Jennifer Bringle, in  Why I’m Having Only One Kid, wrote what slightly we want to say along these years.

We watched our little boy grew up very well. He flourishes as a kid greatly.  The fact that we are moving a lot for the last 9 years, we witness how beautiful he becomes. We believe how being the only kid in this family built his confidence and we can be an empowering source of comfort and knowledge for him.

At last, we don’t have any plan to have another kid, for now. Not in five years. So this is our best answer,

We have decided, now, that our family is the right size, thanks.

 

31/366 : 71 years

The good note to share from Budi Warsito* and the story behind the famous Indonesian Independent Day declaration.

1945 vs. 2605

Pernahkah Anda memperhatikan dan bertanya-tanya, bahwa di teks proklamasi—baik versi tulisan tangan maupun yang diketik—memang tercantum angka ’05 (seperti kata guru-guru SD kita, itu singkatan dari tahun Jepang 2605), tapi kenapa di rekaman audio yang kerap diputar di TV-TV terdengar jelas Bung Karno melafalkan “..seribu sembilan ratus ampat puluh lima..” alias 1945? Mengapa beliau tidak mengucap “..duaribu anem ratus lima..” saja sesuai teks? Kenapa bisa beda, antara yang ditulis dengan yang dibaca? Jawaban paling meyakinkan sejauh ini adalah: rekaman audio tersebut sebenarnya tidak direkam tepat pada saat pembacaan proklamasi di hari Jumat Legi bulan Ramadhan tanggal 17 Agustus 1945 pukul sepuluh pagi, melainkan baru beberapa tahun setelahnya. Yak betul, itu baru direkam beberapa tahun setelahnya. Sejumlah sumber menyebut tahun 1951, konon itu pun setelah Presiden Sukarno berhasil dibujuk dengan susah payah oleh Joesoef Ronodipoero, pendiri Radio Republik Indonesia yang saat itu baru saja membeli peralatan anyar. Bapak Proklamator akhirnya berkenan “membacakan ulang” naskah proklamasi yang legendaris itu untuk direkam oleh Bapak RRI. Setelah beberapa tahun merdeka, termasuk harus mengalami tahun-tahun awal pasca-kemerdekaan yang tak mudah, sangat bisa dimengerti jika untuk rekaman audio-nya kemudian Presiden Sukarno lebih memilih mengucapkan angka 1945 tahun Masehi yang ikonik, mungkin sekaligus sebagai koreksi, dan jelas terdengar lebih nasionalis dan revolusioner ketimbang 2605 tahun Jepang di teks aslinya. Setelah itu baru Lokananta, perusahaan rekaman milik negara yang berdiri pada 1956 di Surakarta, kemudian memperbanyak rekaman “pembacaan ulang” proklamasi itu ke dalam format plat gramofon (shellac) berkecepatan 78rpm, dibundel berurutan di side A dengan lagu “Indonesia Raya” ciptaan W.R. Supratman versi instrumental resmi pemerintah—diaransemen oleh Jozef “Jos” Cleber beserta Orkes Cosmopolitan dengan beberapa saran/masukan dari Presiden Sukarno langsung.

* Mas Budi Warsito is the owner of private library called Kineruku which has 4000 books, 1000 music and film collections

19/366 : Get Sick

I had a long discussion with one of my friend about how exactly happened while your body have fever or you get cough, even when you have morning sickness. My friend told me about Toxemia, what she called a condition while body poisoned by toxic and body got enervated (less nerve energy) to take the toxin out from body and make us sick. Instead we put chemical medicine, she recomended to have a lot of rest and have fasting for last 12 hours. She gave me few articles to read about this (1),(2),(3).

I, actually,was not anti-medicine. While living in Copenhagen, doctor never gave B any prescription to take, even if ask, they would recommend us adol (paracetamol) and always asked to have a lot of water, less spicy food and get more rest. It made us, not used to take any medicine. It changed a lot while we back to our home country.

But last few months, I admitted, easily to give B paracetamol to give him comfort while he had fever at night just to make sure he could sleep through the night and get better next morning. Now I feel so much guilty. I even took more paracetamol nowadays to lose the pain. I am not patient enought to enjoy my pain. I need to reduce this also.

While I tried to reduce medicine intake in our family, my family kept asked me to give medicine and always questioned when there are no antibiotics to take. As I remember, I never let B get antibiotic.

Get sick was never easy. Instead of make our body asked for help, better give a good food, healthy food, healthy diet, give more work out, healthy mind to build happy soul. Learn more about how to act to your body and choose the best to get inside your blood.

Be health, be happy.

Fajar

Ada bagian dari Indonesia yang sedang sedang memasuki senja dan siap tenggelam dalam di kegelapan malam, ada yang sedang memancarkan matahari baru di fajar hari.

Ada bagian dari Indonesia gegap gempita memuncaki kehancuran, ada bagian lain dari Indonesia yang tak kentara sedang menata kebangkitan.

Ada bagian dari Indonesia yang sedang riuh-rendah menyempurnakan kepalsuan, ada bagian lain dari Indonesia yang tersembunyi dari pemberitaan sedang merintis kesejatian.

Ada bagian dari Indonesia yang habis-habisan menyebarkan sihir, takhayul dan halusinasi, ada bagian lain dari Indonesia yang menaburkan kasunyatan kebenaran.

Ada bagian dari Indonesia yang mati-matian menyebarkan kecemasan, kesedihan dan pertengkaran, ada bagian lain dari Indonesia yang berkelana menyemarakkan persaudaraan, kesatuan dan kegembiraan.

Ada bagian dari Indonesia yang melemparkan sebagian bangsanya ke masa silam, ada bagian lain dari Indonesia yang merintis pembuatan fondasi dan batubata masa depan.

Di bagian fajar hari itulah saya hadir.

– Emha Ainun Nadjib : U19, Senja dan Fajar –

MasyaAllah and Subhanallah

In the last Islam Study Class for kids, we learnt about what Rasulullah usually said in daily life. And we found that we both (I and mr.A) had misconception using Subhanallah and MashaAllah. Before we heard about the truth about these words purpose in life condition, we normally used MasyaAllah  when there is a calamity or unexpected turn of event or when we are upset and so on and so forth, and Subhanallah to be used when there is joy or beauty, like when you see a beautiful baby/person or a stunning sunset or a melodious voice.

The truth is,

MashaAllah (ما شاء الل) literally means Whatever Allah (God) wills. It is often used in occasions where there is surprise in someones’ good deeds or achievements; admiration at various abundant goodness. This is expressions of amazement at the beautiful things, and it does wonderful things beloved and desired by Allah (QS. 18 : 39).
then Subhanallah (سبحان الله) literally means Glory be to Allah (God). This exclamation used to express concern over the unfavorable thing in which inappropriate [(QS. 34 : 40-41)(QS. 12 : 108)] and embedded in the meaning of “down” [(QS. 68 : 29)(QS. 24 : 16)], which according to the habits of people in Arabic.

Al-Bukhari narrated in his Saheeh that Jabir ibn ‘Abd-Allah (may Allah be pleased with him) said :

When we went up we would say takbeer (Allahu Akbar) and when we went down we would say tasbeeh (Subhan Allah).

InshaAllah, from now, we start using these words in proper way, avoiding misconception and give precise and meaningful way to the words. InshaAllah.