Ramadan 1441 and The Lock Down

picture from my instagram

This year Ramadan was totally different. But indeed, this is one of the best. Despite of every sad things that people said about how this pandemic made this Ramadan looked in despair, I love this Ramadan.

It’s our eleventh year our abroad living and it means our Ramadan has been in different countries and traditions. And for eleven years, we through the longest day and the hottest day.

When we move to this (new) country almost two years ago, I was more anxious to face the Ramadan. The country will be very different and B will very excited to have his fasting experience. The fact that the previous country gave a very comfortable environment and spoiled us much to have much privilege as Moslem, this country will be very different. The school circumstance will very different for B. It will not much different for Mr.A, he has done well through 22 hours fasting, but I wasn’t sure about B. So last year, we gave him permission to fast in Saudi’s schedule. It was shorter and easy to follow and we noticed the school about his condition and also gave him choice if he wasn’t feel good, he can get water or snack that I always provided. Fortunately, the school was very supportive. We are lucky enough knowing the headmistress also a Moslem. She knew well about Ramadan and fasting and B also have an opportunity to explain about Ramadan to his friends.

But this year, despite of everything, the pandemic and the lock down, I think Allah answered my pray and erased my worrisome. The school closed five days before the Ramadan started followed by Mr.A office. It means B and Mr.A will be at home 24 hours. It was a different joy for me.

My life since moving to this new place was quite alone. I cannot find any work outside yet and it means almost a whole day I spent my day at home. I only went to the city either for meeting friend, this happened once in a blue moon or I need to do groceries. So it looked like I was living in quarantine. Not because I don’t like go outside, I just more comfortable stay at home. Then when the lock down came, I was so grateful. I can see my boys more.

Then the Ramadan came. This lock down and stay at home condition helped me much to make fasting for B easier. B was excited the most. I think he was waiting to do this fully day fasting with local time even though it means he needs to do fasting 16-18 hours. So when Ramadan began, three of us enjoy every moment of it. The suhoor, the five times prayer together ; these were precious things in normal life, the Quran reading, the new surah that we memorized together, the breakfasting although not always festive but B was always savor it with smile and he enjoyed the Taraweeh prayer the most. Regardless the changed of our biological time; this changed also one of my concern if there was no lock down, we enjoyed our new schedule along the Ramadan.

Despite of everything, Allah gave one of the best Ramadan in my life. It was spent well with my loves once, much of good memories happened along this uncertain condition. I will treasure this feeling for my whole life. The time I can teach B more and more about Islam and talked about Islam and Moslem in very good conversation. And I think this year fasting experience is a very good experience for B. He knew the real Ramadan time and how to manage his time and body. It might be different next year but I believe he will do better. Subhanallah.

May Allah grants us with the opportunity to see many more Ramadan, in a very best condition, in Allah protection.

O Allah: (please) do not decide my observance of fasting in this month of Ramadan to be the last of my (life) observance of fasting.

This is our perfect size

 

“Will you have another kid?”

“Are you gonna give B sibling?”

“Do you plan for the second?”

“Don’t be selfish parent? With only one it will easy rite?”

“Do you think B will be okay if he is alone later on? Now he has you, but later, he will be alone by himself? Are you okay with that?”

I thought I will be very well prepared when these questions come up. I usually tamed easily the question and changed into a joke, or I will answer the question wisely. Later option is only happen if I have more energy to put my words well.

But, I still find the question about do we want or need to add our family member is bothersome and come to dread. Especially when it came from the family member and friends.

Not only us, to find these kind of questions are sometime thoughtless. In the article , The question we came to dread: ‘Are you going for a second child?’ , the writer  gave the an easy explanation to make people understand why  question about having another kid or adding family member are enough for some family.

It should be very personal reason, so finding an answer never been easy. But I gladly  Jennifer Bringle, in  Why I’m Having Only One Kid, wrote what slightly we want to say along these years.

We watched our little boy grew up very well. He flourishes as a kid greatly.  The fact that we are moving a lot for the last 9 years, we witness how beautiful he becomes. We believe how being the only kid in this family built his confidence and we can be an empowering source of comfort and knowledge for him.

At last, we don’t have any plan to have another kid, for now. Not in five years. So this is our best answer,

We have decided, now, that our family is the right size, thanks.

 

29/366 : I … Love You

Since 6 months ago, I and mr.A started (again) to ask B if he wants to sleep by himself in his room. He was 5 that time and he has his own room. He did it (before) for 3 weeks but it stopped suddenly due to our trip back to Indonesia. Since then he chose one of us to go to sleep with him all night long.

Actually I love co-sleeping with him. I and mr.A love when we both had a pillow talk a few minutes before he calmly fallen sleep. I love the smell of his baby scent and kiss him thousands time before he slept. Eventhough this  is not wise for B, I enjoyed it much.

Now he was 6 and we think it is time to convince him trying his best. I will try harder to persuade him to get in bed and sleep soundly without us beside him. I will try harder to make him believe that nothing gonna happen in his sleep because Allah always protect him and we always here with him. But maybe I’m just a mom who love his boy and his every little things.

This note is shared in facebook. I don’t know whether her account is for public or not, but I think this one is worth to share.

“Ibu-ibu Memang Payah!”

Ibu2 memang payah, waktu kamu seharusnya belajar untuk berani dan bersosialisasi di taman kanak-kanak, kami malah mengintip dari kaca jendela…

Khawatir pada si kecil yang ‘kok udah sekolah aja sih?’ (padahal sebelumnya kami memimpikan kebebasan sesaat ini, yaitu saat kalian lepas dari kami dan berada di luar rumah selama 3 jam😄)

Ibu2 memang payah, waktu kamu akhirnya bisa ‘mengusir’ kami dan dengan bahagia melepaskan diri untuk bermain bersama guru dan teman2mu di taman kanak-kanak, kami malah tercenung. Berharap agar kalian mau menggelayut manja pada kami untuk sesaat lagi saja. Entah itu minta dipeluk atau dicium yang keseribu kali sebelum mau bergabung dengan teman-teman kalian, seperti yang biasa dilakukan saat awal sekolah dulu…

Ibu2 memang payah… ketika kalian lupa membuat tugas sekolah dan baru ingat pagi harinya ketika harus dikumpulkan, kami langsung turun tangan turut membantu mengerjakan. Meski mulut tak henti mengomel, tapi sungguh hati tak tenang, takut si kesayangan mendapat hukuman dari guru di sekolah…

Ibu2 memang payah, saat kalian merengek karena ketakutan di awal masa harus tidur sendiri, kami sok kuat, sok tegar, sok tegas… padahal malamnya kami mengendap2 untuk menatap wajah tenangmu ketika tidur, dan berharap masih bisa menyesap bau harum badan kalian sebelum tidur, seperti dulu ketika kalian masih berbagi tempat tidur dengan kami…

Ah… kami memang payah… bahkan ketika kami sudah besar pun, ibu kami juga masih menganggap kami anak2, menyiapkan masakan yang lezat2 ketika kami datang berkunjung, membiarkan kami bermanja seperti ketika kami kecil dulu… itulah, itulah juga yang kami lakukan pada kalian…

Sometimes our love cloud our judgement, but you’ve spent too much time in our belly, and even more time in our heart…

Jadi maafkan kami jika kami ‘payah’ dalam menyayangi kalian 😘😘😘

#ForMyPreciousss

taken from her facebook account

ps. I think I have a sad feeling because in a few days B will be bcak to school, and I will miss him that much. I love you kiddo!!

28/366 : Ikigai

what yours?
me.. definitely my little boy.

14/366 : The World Book Day

 

Last week, B’s school celebrated the world book day. Kids invited to come wearing a book character costume/mask and there were a parade together with all kids and teachers.

Actually, I persuaded B to be ‘Cat’ in Cat in the Hat, because it was easy to make, only the hat and the tie, but then he insisted to be The Lorax, after we saw a picture of the Lorax mask in pinterest (hail pinterest!!) and this mask was even easier and simpler. He loved it much and proudly walked in parade with his friends.

In the same day, the school also gave award to students who had finished the reading challenge which held for last two months. The challenge was made to encourage the kids to read book minimal 10 minutes a day and for early readers, the parents was encouraged to help the kid to read or read for the kid. This challenge is adopt from Reading Miles Global Challenge which intend to improve parental involvement in reading to children to become confident readers.

 

And B was proudly awarded as one of the best challenger.