TROCOH

Saya punya banyak teman vegetarian, tapi tidak punya satu pun teman kanibal.” ( You Are What You Eat, hal.137)

Ya iya sih dan saya terkesima. Ya bener juga ga pernah kepikiran dan ga akan nanya juga temennya makan apa. Diakhiri dengan rumor yang beredar dari mulut ke telinga tentang desa kanibal, tulisan mas Budi You Are What You Eat membuat saya tersenyum pada essai nya tentang film-film bertema kanibal. 

Buku ini membawa saya kembali ke masa lalu, nostalgia. Tulisan pertama mas Budi membawa saya ke masa-masa yang saya akui membuat saya bingung, sebenernya saya kuliah dimana di ITB. Di ruangan di belakang ruang bioskop kampus 9009 yang tiap Rabu malam memutar film lewat  pemutar seluloid tuanya atau di gedung biru, belajar tentang fisika oseanografi. Ingatan langsung terlempar di hari Rabu sore saat lagu mars diputar dan bergema di lorong tua klub film itu, yang ternyata adalah potongan lagu milik Eddie Calvert – Gabbie (Lagu Nostalgia Gebrak-gebrak Meja). Atau bernostalgia dengan lagu-lagu milik Sheila on 7 yang mendayu-dayu, siapa yang ga terngiang-ngiang lagu Dan atau Sephia (Sheila on My Mind) atau malah lagu yang begitu tenarnya di masa kecil tapi mas Budi malah membahas topi yang dipake sama penyanyinya. Untuk anak kecil yang ga memperhatikan topinya saya malah tertarik sama gayanya pake kaca mata hitam sambil bernyanyi dengen suara serak-serak basah, dan selalu mengira kalo Gombloh itu buta. (Di Studio, Aku Incar Topi Kesayanganmu). Mas Budi tak lupa membawa memori saya ke masa-masa kejayaan lagu-lagu anak, lagu Melissa – Abang Tukang Bakso (Satu Mangkok Saja, Dua Ratus Perak), atau lagunya Susan dan Kak Ria Enes – Suzan Punya Cita-cita (Gantungkan Cita-citamu Setinggi Atap) dan Paman Datang milik Tasya (Paman yang Paling Indah adalah Paman Kikuk ). Bahkan dari Mengingat Kau Penuh Seluruh, saya jadi tahu mas Budi pun ternyata punya koleksi kaset lagu anak-anak hadiah dari susu Dancow dan ada mas Budi juga nonton anime-anime robot Jepang yang saya saksikan lewat kaset beta sewaan. Iringi Deru-deru Mesinmelempar saya ke perjalanan darat lintas Sumatera-Jawa 6 hari 6 malam ditemani lagu Terminal milik Franky Sahilatua ft. Iwan Fals di tahun 1993 yang diputar berulang kali oleh papa saya di cassete player mobil Izusu Carry merah atau lagu Resesi milik Chrisye yang akhirnya bisa saya dengarkan lagi lewat https://iramanusantara.org yang mengigatkan saya pada 4 laci koleksi kaset milik almarhum papa saya yang harus ditinggal saat kami pindah meninggalkan kota Medan (Punk Pink Ponk!).

Di tulisan lain, saya terkagum-kagum pada ingatan mas Budi yang masih ingat pada pidato presiden Soeharto yang menyebutkan tentang Senam Pagi Indonesia (SPI) (Empat Menit, Sehat Sempurna) atau pidato Soekarno yang menentang berkembangnya musik barat dikalangan anak muda di akhir era 60-an (Adrianoslan Huseilentano). Siapa yang mendengarkan pidato kenegaraan di tanggal 16 Agustus ya kalau bukan mas Budi. 

Di satu sisi, membaca essai-essai ini membuka mata saya tentang khasanah musik Indonesia yang ternyata dalam sejarahnya menghasilkan banyak musik-musik indah dan mencatat pergulatan kehidupan di masanya sebagaimana sebuah karya seni mencatat perjalan sejarah sebuah masa. Saya tidak pernah mencari tahu tentang sejarah musik Indonesia, tapi membaca buku ini membuka mata saya pada legenda-legenda musik yang ternyata jauh sebelum saya mengenal namanya, mereka memainkan ‘genre’ musik yang berbeda. Saya jadi ingat cerita seorang dosen senior,  dimasa mudanya, di rumah mahasiswa di depan kampus gajah sering mengadakan pesta dansa cha cha cha , mengundang mahasiswi dari kampus sebelah (sebelah mana saya tidak tahu sayangnya). Setelah membaca  Adrianoslan Huseilentano, bukan sebuah kemungkinan, bisa saja  lagu yang dipasang untuk pesta dansa itu adalah adalah lagu Papaja Cha Cha Cha, lagu milik Adikarso yang dirilis tahun 1960. 

Dari kesemua ini, mungkin yang paling saya kagumi adalah keuletan mas Budi mencari jawab atas rasa penasaran yang dia miliki. Mencari lagu asli dari lagu yang terputar hanya sepenggal sebagai pembuka bioskop kampus sebelum masa “hai, Siri, what song is this?” saya yakin bukan perkara mudah. Belum lagi mas Budi bisa menemukan buku lawas yang sampulnya dengan atau dengan tidak sengaja dijadikan sampul sebuah album kompilasi lagu lawas (mungkin memang sengaja agar anak-anak seangkatan mas Budi bisa merasakan nostalgianya) (Rahasia Ilmu yang Ringan-ringan Saja ). Benar-benar punya ingatan yang tajam. Saya curiga mas Budi juga terilhami oleh Fox Mulder dan Dana Scully yang mencari kebenaran di luar sana.

Saya terdengar bias mereview buku ini karena saya memang sejak lama mengagumi gaya menulis mas Budi. Beliau adalah KineKlub legend di klub yang saya ikuti. Dia memperkenalkan saya pada film-film asing selain film-film Hollywood. Saya sadari, kecintaan saya pada film-film Korea pun dimulai dari vcd-vcd bajakan hasil kurasi mas Budi. Selain itu tulisannya yang terasa seperti obrolan santai di ruang santai saat hujan ditemani teh atau kopi, ngalor ngidul dan terlempar ke masa lalu, dari satu topik ke topik lain dengan benang merah yang mengikat, selalu saya kagumi. Sebelumnya saya adalah pembaca blog miliknya, budiwarsito.net, disana saya pertama kali membaca Gamelan untuk Ndoro Alien dan langsung penasaran dengan lagu Ketawang Puspawarna yang albumnya menurut tulisan di buku ini adalah salah satu lagu dari album yang pernah masuk nominasi Grammy tahun 1972. Biarpun beberapa essai tidak bisa saya mengerti, tapi beberapa tulisan sangat dekat di hati, salah banyaknya Enam Buku dari Masa Itu atau Nasihat yang Baik. 

Mengutip mas Budi di epilog buku ini , Mengingat Kau Penuh Seluruh, “Demikian pula dun tulis-menulis. Hari-hari lampau yang dulu encer di ingatan saya, dibekukan di buku ini sebelum mereka menguar lenyap ditelan waktu; “ (hal.275), membaca buku ini membuat saya merasa seperti di ruangan penuh rak-rak arsip dengan ingatan saya yang berserak dan menjadi terpancing untuk mendikumentasikan serta merapihkannya untuk Bhumi, untuk saya sebenernya. Mungkin ceritanya akan biasa-biasa saja, kehidupannya hampir membosankan tanpa distraksi perangkat elektronik, mundane kata anak sekarang, tapi seperti kata mas Budi, kesenangan masa kecil kala itu adalah menunggu kartun di hari Minggu pagi seperti Doraemon dan Dash Yankuro (Take-tombo, Tombo-ati) atau menunggu edisi Bobo atau komik terbaru adalah kesenangan tiada terganti.

Satu lagi, sejak essai pembuka, saya jadi kepikiran untuk memiliki pemutar vinyl. Selama ini saya merasa dengan kondisi masih berpindah kesana kemari, memiliki koleksi vinyl akan menambah beban pindahan. Tapi dengan keinginan menetap, saya jadi terpikir untuk nembeli si pemutar vinyl ini. Mungkin menunggu niat dan bujet yang tepat. 

Copenhagen : We are back

Disclaimer : This trip was made with high consideration. UK government open the border and made the summer holiday was possible with details for arrival in here. The Denmark government also opened their border earlier in June with safety rule for each departure/arrival country (source here). The airlines and airport also made strict rules about the using face mask (covering the face) and to obey COVID19 safety rule to all passenger. The COVID19 border and immigration regulation will be updated every Thurday.

We planned this trip back on February. We’ve already applied the visa back on February and got 6 months multiple entry visa. Originally, the trip was for spring break and to visit our friends that newly moved to Bergen and then fly to Copenhagen for we called it ” a Recollecting Trip“. But then the pandemic started widely and the lockdown curved was enforced. The country border started to close, first Denmark then Norway. And two days before our designated departure, the airlines canceled all our ticket ( fortunately, with fully refund). So here there goes our spring break trip.

Then when everything possible, the borders was opened and UK government gave possibility to make any trip abroad, we found an affordable accommodation, direct flight and safe hotel. And also, we decided to change our plan to directly to go to Copenhagen instead to have transit to Bergen (as per unfortunately, we couldn’t find any flight direct on that date too).

We will to visit Copenhagen for 6 days, this is due to a minimum stay requirement and will have to show documentation of a 6-night booking (based on Danish government decision on 30 August 2020). The best found was the city having a 50% discount for almost all the attraction in the city along the summer break (ended on 9 August 2020) but need to booking the time slot in prior due to the safety rule and visitor limitation in a day. Due to the high demand and the requirement of bought the ticket online, I booked Den Blå Planet and Lousiana Museum of Modern Art in advance.

The airports , both Stansted (we use RyanAir) and Kaastrup, strictly required to using face mask or using suitable covering face all the times inside the airport and also inside the public transportation inside the airport and surely inside the plane. Hand sanitizers are available in every place in the airport and the distancing is applied well. One thing that changed inside the plane is going to the toilet. Instead of we can go freely, now the airline (RyanAir did) decided to make sure no people queue in front of the toilet. The passenger who needs to go will need to give a prior sign (using called sign) and the flight attendant will let them know if the toilet available to use.

Another finding for this trip is the new ticket system for Copenhagen the public transportation. Seven years ago, when we left the city, they still using the paper ticket system but then changed into electronic system a year later. I remember the have daily ticket but bundle with Copenhagen Card. But then we found out they now have different types of tickets and travel cards which are all valid for buses, trains and the metro in the Copenhagen area. The choice depends on how much and where you wish to travel during your stay and it called City Pass (they have range from 24 to 120 hours, Zone 1 to 4 or bigger area include the outer Copenhagen), which also available in DOT Ticket apps. Using this more comfortable rather than using the card (need to top up and counting how many areas you will pass).

Back in old days, I think we didn’t create much will to explore the city. I deeply regretted the laziness. Especially after I followed few Danish photographer and Copenhagen resident who captured the city beautifully. I felt missing this city more and more and had plan to visit this city since the day I left it. The city has changed, based on the picture. And we voluntarily happy to find out the new things in the city.

So, here we are, back to Copenhagen as a tourist. How I miss these colors and the bakery smell.

Ramadan 1441 and The Lock Down

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picture from my instagram

This year Ramadan was totally different. But indeed, this is one of the best. Despite of every sad things that people said about how this pandemic made this Ramadan looked in despair, I love this Ramadan.

It’s our eleventh year our abroad living and it means our Ramadan has been in different countries and traditions. And for eleven years, we through the longest day and the hottest day.

When we move to this (new) country almost two years ago, I was more anxious to face the Ramadan. The country will be very different and B will very excited to have his fasting experience. The fact that the previous country gave a very comfortable environment and spoiled us much to have much privilege as Moslem, this country will be very different. The school circumstance will very different for B. It will not much different for Mr.A, he has done well through 22 hours fasting, but I wasn’t sure about B. So last year, we gave him permission to fast in Saudi’s schedule. It was shorter and easy to follow and we noticed the school about his condition and also gave him choice if he wasn’t feel good, he can get water or snack that I always provided. Fortunately, the school was very supportive. We are lucky enough knowing the headmistress also a Moslem. She knew well about Ramadan and fasting and B also have an opportunity to explain about Ramadan to his friends.

But this year, despite of everything, the pandemic and the lock down, I think Allah answered my pray and erased my worrisome. The school closed five days before the Ramadan started followed by Mr.A office. It means B and Mr.A will be at home 24 hours. It was a different joy for me.

My life since moving to this new place was quite alone. I cannot find any work outside yet and it means almost a whole day I spent my day at home. I only went to the city either for meeting friend, this happened once in a blue moon or I need to do groceries. So it looked like I was living in quarantine. Not because I don’t like go outside, I just more comfortable stay at home. Then when the lock down came, I was so grateful. I can see my boys more.

Then the Ramadan came. This lock down and stay at home condition helped me much to make fasting for B easier. B was excited the most. I think he was waiting to do this fully day fasting with local time even though it means he needs to do fasting 16-18 hours. So when Ramadan began, three of us enjoy every moment of it. The suhoor, the five times prayer together ; these were precious things in normal life, the Quran reading, the new surah that we memorized together, the breakfasting although not always festive but B was always savor it with smile and he enjoyed the Taraweeh prayer the most. Regardless the changed of our biological time; this changed also one of my concern if there was no lock down, we enjoyed our new schedule along the Ramadan.

Despite of everything, Allah gave one of the best Ramadan in my life. It was spent well with my loves once, much of good memories happened along this uncertain condition. I will treasure this feeling for my whole life. The time I can teach B more and more about Islam and talked about Islam and Moslem in very good conversation. And I think this year fasting experience is a very good experience for B. He knew the real Ramadan time and how to manage his time and body. It might be different next year but I believe he will do better. Subhanallah.

May Allah grants us with the opportunity to see many more Ramadan, in a very best condition, in Allah protection.

O Allah: (please) do not decide my observance of fasting in this month of Ramadan to be the last of my (life) observance of fasting.

We Move

This draft has been stayed for almost a year. A note that I cannot finish due to my heavy heart. A year left and we passed through : fight, tears, unstable feeling, spring, ocean, summer, beautiful autumn, and another winter, I think all the changes along the changed season has softened my heart. Move to new place was never easy decision, a new place is never easy to enjoy. Every step is surviving and adaptation mode. We started to enjoy every soaked after the heavy rain. The grey sky and the blue sky, both with a cup of tea, coffee or hot chocolate in hand. And realize moving on is never been easy task, I once wrote about this too, and always relate to these articles * *.

So, it was already 3 months. We move back to north. To a place where it has very different terrain. It was big different. We are good. But honestly, half of our feeling is still belong there, they are still in AD.

This wasn’t our first time left and move, but the feeling of lost, cannot moving on, holding to old memories is linger , even though I trained and said to myself to say IT IS OKAY!

Once, I wrote this. I think , that time I tried hard to comfort myself after our big move from CPH. But when I read it now, it still has the same effect.

It’s linger longer than what we, the three of us, thought. It’s harder for mr.A after all. B tried hard to move on but I’m sure he cannot forget any detail of his beautiful moment in his life in AD.

The fact that I cannot regret my decision to agree to move here, pushed me to enjoy this new place. I still don’t believe that we went away from (very) good life in AD despite of the real fact that there is no possibility to be stay forever there.

Definitely feel unsure with the changed, but I feel part of myself started to enjoy the changed. So, now, we move to new place. Still a long journey to make another decision. I already decided to turn down one of my plan, I don’t think it will work anytime soon. The journey will longer and we choose to make it step by step. It can be either baby step or big step.

We will always remember and never can say goodbye to 1650 days of beautiful memories living in AD. We might still talking how good life there. We might still smile for the antics of living in desert country. We might still holding our happy days with our dear best friends; the camping, the karaoke nights, the road trip, the every weekend out for coffee or unplanned meeting in the mall.

B might still have his vivid memory of his glory in the last moment in the school. I hope it can be his favor for his new endeavor in this new life and the future life.

I know this never be easy. It will be a long adaptation.

Please, me..
Stay strong. Stay sane.

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See you, Abu Dhabi.

 

This is our perfect size

 

“Will you have another kid?”

“Are you gonna give B sibling?”

“Do you plan for the second?”

“Don’t be selfish parent? With only one it will easy rite?”

“Do you think B will be okay if he is alone later on? Now he has you, but later, he will be alone by himself? Are you okay with that?”

I thought I will be very well prepared when these questions come up. I usually tamed easily the question and changed into a joke, or I will answer the question wisely. Later option is only happen if I have more energy to put my words well.

But, I still find the question about do we want or need to add our family member is bothersome and come to dread. Especially when it came from the family member and friends.

Not only us, to find these kind of questions are sometime thoughtless. In the article , The question we came to dread: ‘Are you going for a second child?’ , the writer  gave the an easy explanation to make people understand why  question about having another kid or adding family member are enough for some family.

It should be very personal reason, so finding an answer never been easy. But I gladly  Jennifer Bringle, in  Why I’m Having Only One Kid, wrote what slightly we want to say along these years.

We watched our little boy grew up very well. He flourishes as a kid greatly.  The fact that we are moving a lot for the last 9 years, we witness how beautiful he becomes. We believe how being the only kid in this family built his confidence and we can be an empowering source of comfort and knowledge for him.

At last, we don’t have any plan to have another kid, for now. Not in five years. So this is our best answer,

We have decided, now, that our family is the right size, thanks.